Forgiveness.

Over the past couple of years, my ability to forgive others has really been put to the test. From my earliest memories to around age 16 I was very shy and non-confrontational. Really! I know that it's almost impossible for you all to imagine but it's the truth. Being a chubby kid I was often made fun of and didn't want to bring extra attention to myself. But when I turned 16.....the winds quickly changed direction. By taking a lifeguarding class and forcing myself to become comfortable "in my own skin" I found the strength to finally stand up for myself & others. My mother would joke that I exploded and the pieces haven't stopped flying. From that moment in my life until the present one, I have done almost everything in my power to make things right in the world. Or at least MY WORLD. I have gotten easily (too easily) upset about issues such as abortion, welfare, gay rights, animal welfare, disrespect, slow drivers in the left hand lane, and a multitude of other things as you can imagine. I just want everything to be fair. However, life just isn't. And I have to accept that.
I have been holding grudges for my entire life and slowly....very slowly but surely I have been trying to release them. Everytime that I make peace with someone or something I almost get a high. It's the most incredible thing. There are some people that I still REALLY have issues with forgiving. I know that it's only hurting me. And since these people already hurt me, I don't need anymore hurt. I need to give up what I can.
This excerpt is from this website.
One day, the sage gave the disciple an empty sack and a basket of potatoes. "Think of all the people who have done or said something against you in the recent past, especially those you cannot forgive. For each of them, inscribe the name on a potato and put it in the sack."

The disciple came up quite a few names, and soon his sack was heavy with potatoes.

"Carry the sack with you wherever you go for a week," said the sage. "We'll talk after that."

At first, the disciple thought nothing of it. Carrying the sack was not particularly difficult. But after a while, it became more of a burden. It sometimes got in the way, and it seemed to require more effort to carry as time went on, even though its weight remained the same.

After a few days, the sack began to smell. The carved potatoes gave off a ripe odor. Not only were they increasingly inconvenient to carry around, they were also becoming rather unpleasant.

Finally, the week was over. The sage summoned the disciple. "Any thoughts about all this?"

"Yes, Master," the disciple replied. "When we are unable to forgive others, we carry negative feelings with us everywhere, much like these potatoes. That negativity becomes a burden to us and, after a while, it festers."

"Yes, that is exactly what happens when one holds a grudge. So, how can we lighten the load?"

"We must strive to forgive."